


Blood and Bone

by QueenQuendya



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Childhood Trauma, F/F, F/M, Family, Family Feels, Family Issues, Hogwarts Era, Lesbian Pansy Parkinson, Little Sisters, POV Pansy Parkinson, Pureblood Culture (Harry Potter), Pureblood Society (Harry Potter), Sisters, Slytherin Pride, Slytherins Being Slytherins
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-28
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:35:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21598618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenQuendya/pseuds/QueenQuendya
Summary: Pansy Parkinson should have been born a boy.She knows it deep inside her bones, as much as she knows anything at all. Feels it wash over her every time her father looks her way. She bites the inside of her cheek, it tastes like iron.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Pansy Parkinson/Original Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	1. A New Year

Pansy Parkinson should have been born a boy. She knows it deep inside her bones. 

_ Father would have preferred a boy, _she thinks critically. 

It isn’t really a slight to her, she knows her father tolerates both his daughters well enough. He has made peace with it, he will after all, never have any sons. His love for her late mother being one of the few admirable qualities all can agree on about Lord Parkinson. He’s a strict man, a careful one. Terribly tall, all sharp features, and cold blue eyes. What her mother ever saw in him, if she saw anything at all, died with her. 

_ I would have preferred to be a boy, _it's a bitter thought, and it slips into her mind when all the lights are out. When nobody can catch her repeatedly breaking things in her room. Over the years she has gotten much better at silencing her own screams and hiding the evidence of her own violence. Cruelty it seems, comes far too easily for her these days. 

_ “Silencio maxima” _

_ Crash. _

Reparo. 

_ Crash. _

Reparo. 

_ Crash. _

Reparo. 

She picks out a ceramic vase shard from her hand, blood running down her forearm, it stings but there is something oddly mesmerising about watching it smear along her pale white skin. She casts a quick healing charm and pulls down her cashmere robe sleeve again. 

But Pansy is not a boy.

She is a pug faced girl, with too sharp eyes just like her father, and an upturned nose. She knows no matter how sleek and elegant her clothes are, how perfectly styles her hair, exceptionally done her makeup is, she will never be beautiful. 

_ Girls like you don’t have to be beautiful Pans, you’re rich and of the right sort. What does it matter what you look like? _ Draco’s voice drawls in her ear. Sometimes he is so obtuse, as if he really is as dumb as a he pretends to be. 

She sits down at her vanity mirror, and does her last touch ups. After all there is no need to look anything other than striking, red lipstick and subtle eyeshaddow. She applies a few setting and de-smudging charms, and a quick glamour spell over the ghastly spot she has developed over her right temple.

She’s good at this, always has been. Magic comes easily to her, like breathing. If only socialising was just as easy.

_ How easy it must be to be a good looking man... _ She scowls at herself in the mirror, adjusting her bangs. _ No that wont do. _She relaxes her whole face again, a blank slate. 

She remembers sitting in her mother’s solar reading, the smell of earl grey and freshly baked lemon tea cakes. Books littered around the room, about flowers again, her mother loved everything that grew. _ Don’t let them know what you’re really thinking Pansy darling, the world is cruel to those who don't know how to to play by the right set of rules_. 

Her eyes sting, it’s been a long time since she’s let herself cry about her mother. It ruins her makeup after all, and that just wont do.

She knows that had she been beautiful like her mother, things would have been easier. Pretty people get what they like. They get the boys, the girls, the right opportunities, forgiveness, fourth and fifth chances. Power. Choices. 

It really is absolutely rubbish, all of it. She chucks an empty perfume bottle into the wall for good measure, the shattering glass is satisfying. Sharp and loud.

She summons it back again, with a quick wave of her wand, and makes it piece itself together like nothing ever happened.

+++

“Pansy? Can you fix my hair?” A soft voice snaps her out of her own thoughts. Pansy turns and raises an eyebrow. Most people flinch or look away, her pale eyes unnerving, even her own housemates often back off when she's in one of her moods. But Daisy just smile, her own blue eyes warm and lovely as a pale blue summer sky. She never could refuse her sister anything, and with a huff she waves her over. 

“You can’t keep coming to me for this when you get to Hogwarts, you know” Pansy stands and motions for her sister to sit on the satin chair. Daisy shrugs, and sits down. 

“I know, but I thought it might be nice one last time before it all changes” Her sister is trying to look calm but instead she end up looking worried.

“Not everything will change” Of course some things will, and there is a war coming, but there is no need to worry Daisy. Not yet. 

“Papa says it will. But as long as I’m sorted into Slytherin or Ravenclaw, like Aunt Dianna, it will be alright.” Pansy smiles, then comments “God forbid you get sorted into Hufflepuff.”

Daisy gives a worried glance at her sister in the mirror, 

“But...what if I am a Hufflepuff? That would be positively dreadful?”

“Don’t be an idiot Daisy, it’s unbecoming. There has never been a Parkinson's sorted into Hufflepuff, or even worse into Gryffindor, and you will not either.”

“But-”

“It simply isn’t done.” She takes a moment to figure out what to say before adding “Besides, you can talk to the hat you know. If you want it bad enough, it will let you pick”

“Really?” her sister looks hopeful, it's fragile and soft and makes Pansy worried all over again. That her sister is not ready for the social politics outside her fathers curated social sphere...No matter Daisy's manners and easy charm. She wants to wrap her up in soft blankets and hide her from the cruel world. The one that will hurt her no matter how lovely she looks. Daisy, thank merlin, looks nothing like a pug. 

“Daphne Greengrass got to pick between Ravenclaw and Slytherin, she chose Slytherin of course. A better fit for her, but her younger sister Astoria is perfectly happy in Ravenclaw.” 

“Did you get to pick?”

Pansy hesitates, biting her tongue. Her sorting had been quick, she’s a Slytherin through and through. Cold, calculating, and cares so deeply about her own she can taste blood in her own mouth. She relaxes her jaw and forces herself to smile.

“No, I could never be anywhere else.”

“Oh… will you still like me if I’m not a Slytherin... like you?”

“Yes Daisy, you’re family, and nothing is more important than family. Besides blue suits you just as well as green” her sister smiles again, her soft brown hair gently curled. Pansy puts away her wand.

“There, all done” She claps her manicured hands, and gives her bedroom one last look over to make sure she hasn't missed anything. Things can of course be owled, but it’s such a pain to do so. 

“Have you packed your trunk and given it to the elves? Nymphty will take it to the carriage” 

“Yes Pans, I did that ages ago.” Daisy raises from the chair, and delicately smooths out her lilac skirt again “It’s all sorted. I sent Demeter ahead, Papa said she could fly to school. That it would be more comfortable?”

“He’s right, there is no point in bringing an owl on the train. Dreadful to be locked up in a cage for no reason when one has wings” 

She picks up Philip, her british shorthair, who meows unhappily about being disturbed from his sunny pillow by the window. Putting him gently into his cage, the two girls leave the room. Walking down the long corridor past all the family portraits, a few wish them good luck with the school year, or to uphold the Parkinson name.

Their mothers portrait is empty as usual. Pansy tries not to let that affect her.

They continue on, walk in silence down the grand staircase. Their father stands in the foyer, sharp grey robes on, arms behind his back. If it weren't for his temples starting to gray and the wrinkles around his eyes he would look like he was a man still in his mid 30s instead of late 50s. 

“I have a meeting at two at the ministry and can’t be late.” Lord Parkinson checks his silver pocket watch again, scowling, and motions for them to hurry into the carriage. 

“Of course father”

“Dipper?” Her father's voice cuts across the marble room, with a sharp crack the house elf in question appeared.

“Yes Master?” The glassy eyed elf, rasps out. 

“I will be dining in the red room tonight, see to it that the fire is lit and that I have a variety of whiskey set out on the table. Lord Greengrass will be joining me, you are dismissed.”

“Of course, Master” He bows deeply, his long nose almost touching the floor. Before disappearing again, as quickly as he came. 

They get in the carriage without another word, and they’re off. 

+++

Platform 9 ¾ is busy, witches and wizards of all ages rushing about, hugging their loved ones one last time before term. Steam rolling onto the platform from the large scarlet train.

Her father grimaced, at the chaos before making his way to the train. Quietly levitating their trunks behind him.

A few of the other people stop and nodded at Lord Parkinson. Pansy put up a bored expression on her face and linked her arm with Daisy. Her sister seemed calm, but she could feel little terrors of nerves or excitement through her arm. But before she could give any words of comfort, her fathers voice cut across sharply,

“Ah Julius, back from France then?” Lord Parkinson, sat down the trunks and shook hands with a slightly shorter but equally dark haired man. 

“Nathaniel, always a pleasure. Yes, we got back last night, Emelia and I. You remember my daughter don't you? She’s been made a Prefect this year.” 

“Of course. How do you do, young lady?”

“Very well, my Lord” Emilia said sweetly, before curtseying to Lord Parkinson and nodding at the girls. Daisy and Pansy did the same. Emelia however avoiding her eyes completely preferring to look away at the others students. Pansy tired not to feel disappointed that the older girl didn’t look her way. 

“Where is your lovely wife and son?”

“Oh they stayed behind a bit longer, Andrew is beginning his new job in the french ministry this fall, and Andrea couldn’t bear to be parted with him so quickly. You know how women are” Emelia's lips thinned but she stayed quiet. Pansy looked at the older girl, she was taller than herself, curvier but in the right way, as her mother would put it. A Ravenclaw, Pansy already knew this of course, she had seen her around in the halls. She was friends with some of the upper year Slytherins who studies on Saturdays in the library. Pouty lips and light brown eyes with long pinned up hair. Her hair was even darker than Pansy’s, almost as black as the night sky, she wondered what it would feel like to run her fingers through the long hair. Would it be soft? What would it smell-

“- but as much as I would like to chat, I miss set my daughters off. It’s daisy’s first year and Pantsy’s fourth.” Pansy snapped back with the mention of her name.

“Yes yes, plenty to do! Shall I see you at the gentleman's lunch on Thursdays? I seem to remember Lucius saying something about exotic meats from the colonies”

“Of course” Pansy and Daisy said their farewells and the two families parted ways. But not before Pansy could quickly look over her shoulder to watch Emelia and her father walk to the prefects compartment. 

After her father had put away the trunks, he turned to them, looking serious

“Now you two be good, send a letter to me once you get to Hogwarts. I will be away on business the next two weeks, but will write back when I can. Make me proud”

“Of course father”

“Yes Papa”

“Take care of your sister Pansy”

“Yes father” he nodded curtly at her, seemingly satisfied. Before kissing them both quickly on the cheek and turning to walk away. 

For a fleeting moment she allowed herself to think of her mother, smiling and hugging her goodbye during her first year, telling her to owl every day. Even if her father has called the behaviour unpropper. _ Nathaniel I will hug our daughter goodbye for as long as I like, and you will be quiet if you have nothing nice to say, _ her mother had said calmly. _ She doesn’t need hugs, she needs to pull herself together to make a good impression! _Her father had hissed back, his face turning cold. 

She clenched her fist, once, then twice. Long nails digging into the soft part of her palms. Red half crescent moons forming on her pale skin. 

“Come along now Daisy, let us find my friends, I'm sure some of yours will be with them as well. I have to introduce you to the other pureblood girls, impressions are everything after all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think!
> 
> I have a bit of a larger head-canon about the whole Parkinson + Co. pureblood world including politics that I'd love to eventually get out on paper.


	2. The Feast

The sorting ceremony, as usual, was a complete drag. Even if the excitement of the Quidditch world cup was still abuzz, it was the kind of over-excited chatter that filled the hall and made Pansy’s ears ache. She had never cared about Quidditch to begin with, a bland sport which favoured seekers far too much and not enough about real skill. 

_ Nothing at all like synchronised charm dancing or broom gymnastics, even fencing _ she thought critically. all which required the individuals to have a deep undering standing of passive and active movements far more interesting and complex to deal with. Anyone with half a brain could chase a flying ball. 

“-and then Potter-” Theo and Pansy shared a look, if there was one thing Draco could be depended upon to talk about it was Harry James Potter. The two boys seemed to have an almost obsessive relationship, not that she would ever dare mention this out loud in public. Much more effective to needle him about it in private. Flashing a quick look over to the other side of the hall she caught Potter, oh so predictably, staring right back at the blond beside her. They were positively revolting, like tropical birds flashing their feathers at each other in increasingly ludicrous ways. 

“He’s staring at you”

“Who”

“Potter. Who else you daft git?” Pansy rolled her eyes again, before hiding her small smirk behind the silver goblet. Draco snapped his head up and started straight at Potter, for a moment he looked almost hopeful for something.  _ Revolting. _

Blaise mimed gagging, and Pansy let out an unlady like snort before catching herself, then proceeded to step on his foot in retaliation. From his wince it seemed to have hit the mark. Draco however hadn’t noticed any of this as he was back on track talking 

“-His hair, and his freckles!”

“Saint Potter has freckles?” Blaise asked, one eyebrow raised.

“Maybe it’s dirt, he lives with muggles doesn’t he? I haven’t looked that closely” Draco said snidely, looking away, his cheeks turning a pale pink.

“Of course you haven’t, why would you. Have another lemon tart.” She passed him the tray, and he grabbed the closest one viciously eating it.

“Daisy Parkinson” McGonagall’s voice cut through the air, jolting Pansy out of her trance. This was important, crossing her fingers under the table, she waited. 

Her sister looked so small across the hall. Soft brown hair shining faintly in the candlelight as she climbed onto the stool, the ragged hat swallowed her whole head.  _ Dusty and disgusting, do they even wash it? _ The hall was silent, any second now her sister's fate would be sealed.

“RAVENCLAW!” The sorting hat’s word bounced off the castle walls. For a moment there was silence, then the Ravenclaw table broke out in cheer, toasts being performed all along the table in celebration of a new member. Something painful and tight unclenched inside Pansy.  _ Thank Merlin for that.  _

As her sister jumped down from the chair she looked quickly towards the Slytherins, found her sister and flashed a brilliant smile. Pansy allowed herself a small smile back, Daisy would be happy there. There would be less focus on class and more on academics. Yes, it would suit her well. 

****

“I can  _ not _ believe we don't get quidditch this year, what a bloody disgrace. My parents should have sent me to Durmstrang instead, this school is in total ruin after that old coot took over”

“For Merlin’s sake Draco, I’m getting a migraine from your voice.” Daphne Greengrass moaned, while rubbing her temples. 

“Greengrass is right, just because you don't get to go flying or compete in the triwizard cup doesn’t mean I care enough to want to hear about it, besides they’re coming here it’s not like they will play quidditch either” Zabini snapped from across the table, shooting a look at Daphne.  _ Oh how intriguing, did something happen over the summer?  _ Pansy thought, sharp eyes trying to pick up any other details from that delicious little outburst. 

Daphne Greengrass was everything Pansy had ever wanted to be: Effortlessly beautiful, graceful, likeable, of good breeding, and most of all with a direction in exactly what she wanted in life. She wanted a good marriage and an estate where she could take up Kneazle breeding. Pansy wanted to hate her, she had tried too when they were children, but Daphne had made Hanna Rudophen’s hair fall when she had called Pansy ugly, and followed it up by stating that nobody would love her now that she was bald and a half-blood. Hanna had cried, and never been invited back to the Greengrass estate.

“You’re all terribly mean to me ”

“It’s not like Slytherin was going to win anyway, the Gryffindor team was really pulling their weight last year and I doubt they would be worse this time around” Theo added before finishing off his drink, however when seeing Draco’s sullen face added “and you’re not on the team anymore, how would they win without you and your dad’s brooms?” Draco rolled his eyes but seemed cheered regardless.

“Don’t pout darling, you're still dashing, rich, and the rest of the Slytherin house will still bow down to their fearless leader.” Pansy added, tapping his leg.

“Ah and on that subject, let's get going before the first years take all of the chairs in the common room, I want to see the prefects break them in” Theo said quickly throwing his napkin on his plate. 

“Let's go then” Draco drawled, he had put on his ‘Lucious Face’ as Theo had dubbed it. Passive, cold stare, nose raised, shoulders back. He looked every inch of the pureblood son he was expected to be. Unfortunately she also knew that Draco cried when losing too many rounds of cards, and had once owned a Hedgehog named Teacup (Narcissa was a darling like that). 

As they waited for all of the Gryffindor’s to pass, Neville Longbottom came out of the crowd along with a few other bland looking boys dressed in red and gold. They looked younger but frankly unremarkable, nobody of noteworthy means anyway.

“Longbottom” Pansy said simply, a sharp bow of the head. 

“Parkinson” he bowed his head with his right hand over his heart, repeating the process for the other heirs before going up the stairs, the others offered the same greeting in return.

Although Gryffindor was a distasteful house filled with muggle loving idiots with no sense of self preservation or class, there was no excuse for rudeness when it came to other Lords and Ladies and their Heirs. School rivalries were all fine as long as you were able to call on them for when you needed them to later, Lord Parkinson had spent several long nights during Pansy’s childhood stressing the need for ties with other houses. Particularly those who were not blood relatives, as they were trickier to blackmail.

Unfortunately the social protocols meant they all ended up behind the first years after all, as they were filing in though the Slytherin common room entrance. Blaise huffed, and glared as a few of the last ones in disdain.  _ Had they always been that small? _ Pansy thought to herself, as she sized them up.

“Do you have to frighten them?” Daphne whispered

“Yes, one of them is going to write down the password like an absolute idiot and we’re going to have fucking Hufflepuffs trying to sneak in again. I like to think of it as preemptive payback”

“That’s ridiculous! They're eleven, their penmanship is probably so poor nobody would be able to read it” Daphne snapped back in a hushed voice, before following the small children into the dark. 

As they walked through the tunnel there were little gasps at the pale green glowing runes flickering in and out illuminating the way. It was followed by even more excited chatter when they finally got to the main sitting room. A few of the older students were slouched around the couches. Spotting Millicent Bulstrode by one of the ornate marble fireplaces, Pansy quickly made her way towards her friend with the rest of the group following suit.

“Had a good summer?” Daphne asked, sitting next to Millie.

“Passable, family is what it is, you know?” The larger girl replied, closing her book tightly in her hands. Millie, like many of them, had a difficult family situation. With her mother dead, father perpetually away, and step-mother hating her, it was easy to understand why she preferred being at school.

Pansy decided to sit on one of the free couches, with Draco making himself comfortable in the other end. For a second she wanted to pinch his ankle for the nerve of putting his feet in her lap, but then she remembered that this was their usual song and dance at school, as it made others less aggressive about trying to court him, their parents had been delighted of course when they had announced their decision to go into a tentative relationship. It would be a respectable arrangement, with good blood and money on both sides. If only they hadn’t figured out quite quickly that neither one would ever be interested in the other romantically. 

Had Narcissa Malfoy not put her foot down when Draco was a child, he surely would have been betrothed to someone from the tender age of one. But that was not to be, much to many great many house’s dismay.

The first years had gathered around one of the sitting areas, clustering around on the various chairs, cheslons, and couches. Some of them giving nervous glances in the direction of Pansy and her friends. She recognized some of them as children from good pureblood houses. One of the MacDougal girls (the other had gone to Ravenclaw), Tracy Davies younger sister, to name a few.

“This is the main common room, there are several other rooms, which you can find down the right hallway including a small library, study rooms, a games room, and a Potions lab. As a first year you do not yet have the privileges of a private lab space, but you are allowed to request a session if you feel it would benefit you academically. Professor Snape, our head of house, is strict about proper use and cleanup but he is fair in his assessment.” the fifth year boy prefect stated cliptly,  _ what was his name again? Rolfson? Rayilsen? Roaldson?  _

“No pureblood prefects this year, do you think it’s a ploy from Dumbledore’s side?” Blaise whispered in her ear, he’d perched himself on the armrest of the couch.

“Maybe, he is a muggle loving fool after all, but then again, Viola is decent at magic, the other one I don't think i’ve ever noticed until today. Are we even sure he is a Slytherin?”

They shared a smirk before tuning back in to the Prefects speech

“--There is also the Mermaid Lounge,” Viola Buckworth added airily, “as you can see we are under the Lake.” She waved her hand pointing at the large stained glass windows along the back wall.

There was a faint green glow from the water behind the windows, but overall the bright fireplaces and crystal chandeliers made the dorm a pleasant place to be. Here there was only the finest masonry, and wooden flooring had been used. Everything was beautifully preserved and layered in history, as Salazar Slytherin Himself has come from the far east so there were regular motief of snakes in all sorts of shapes and sizes inlaid with glittering gems. There were also beautiful carvings and portraits featuring underwater landscapes and famous Slytherin students. 

“We Slytherins pride ourselves on taking care of our own, and passing on tradition. All Slytherins benefit from extra talents and I would highly recommend you take up learning sign language as a way to communicate with them, they are excellent teachers of their own arts and have been a part of Slytherin’s culture for centuries.”

“Now as a final note, I will only tell you this once. Some of you here are Pureblood, you know our ways, you know our heritage. You represent your families here, do not forget it.” She paused, surveying them before continuing, she paused for a moment, locking eyes with Pansy before casting her eyes away.

“Some of you are half-blood, you might know some but we will teach you the rest. And two of you are muggle-born. Blood matters a great deal in our world, but the hat has chosen Slytherin as you're home, and you are one of us now.”

“You are at a disadvantage socially here because you do not know our ways but we will take care of you, if you respect our house. Many will not be kind to you for our reputation, if you have questions or need help you come to one of the Prefects on duty. There is a list on the board with the rotar schedule.” Roaldson continued, running his hands through his short blond hair.

“Our Head of House is also available if you need further guidance. The connections you make here in this house will last you a lifetime, I will not be kind if I hear about exclusion. You float or you skin as a group. Tradition, heritage, culture, and skill will be fostered here, not petty squabbles among children.”

Pansy felt her heart clench, she was proud to be a Slytherin, like her parents and grandparents before her. They had a terrible reputation which was gotten much worse due to He-who-must-not-be-named’s rule. Sure Slytherin was dark leaning, and many of their thoughts were conservative, but there was politics, blood-laws, and rituals which were being thrown out and in turn upsetting the balance of magic. The Weasley’s were called Blood Traitors for more than liking muggle borns after all. 

“Dormitories are to the left, you will find your names inscribed on the doors. Now shoo” Viola, waved his hands and the children stood up quickly, the Purebloods bowed and curtsied as they passed the upper years, the rest followed suit albeit a bit awkwardly. 

“Did you see? that was  _ Heir Malfoy” _ one of them said as they shuffled past, Draco smirked in response as he made eye contact with Pansy.  _ Oh the wonders of being a boy who can inherit and do whatever the fuck he wants _ . She cast the thought from her head, it wouldn't do her any good. 

The first year’s would learn manners and rank in due time, like they always did. 

Pansy certainly knew hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update!
> 
> This story is not shelved, life has just been very busy. I will continue updating it more regularly now that university is out for the year.


End file.
